AMY-LEE FARR - FOUNDER MBAU
Hello and welcome to It Stops With Me, the show that is not afraid to talk about the challenging topics relating to Domestic Violence. I'm your host, Amy-Lee Farr, and today we're going to talk about the Joy of imperfection.
I'll discuss the “5 simple ways you can start to embrace your imperfections right now”. Plus, we have a special gift at the end for our listeners; be sure to listen all the way through for the details!
It Stops With Me is sponsored by IVROSE - 5TH ANNIVERSARY SALE, SITEWIDE 15% OFF, Buy 3 Get 4th 40% OFF, Buy 4 Get 5TH 50% OFF, Buy 5 Get 6TH 60% OFF.
Shorten your learning curve, make the most of your resources,
and maximize your impact both in your life and the lives of others.
The French Enlightenment philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau (roo·sow) famously said that "Man was born free, but everywhere he is in chains."
Of course, Rousseau (roo·sow) meant this in political terms, but this is also true in spiritual and emotional terms. Most of the time, we hold the key to the mental prisons that we live in. We define the world in neat, tidy little boxes that spell out what we can and cannot do, who we can and cannot be, and where we can and cannot go.
Almost all of this is arbitrary, but they are all too real because we make them real by believing in them.
We were born free, but we refuse to turn the lock of the mental prison that we choose to be in. And much of this situation can be tied to 8 mindsets that work to hold us back and drag us down.
Such as:
Let’s change up that quote to reflect today’s world "People are born free, but everywhere they are in chains." If you have been waiting for a sign to do something you’ve wanted to do, then now is the time to take that step into making a confident decision. You are worthy and capable of making good decisions.
The Foundation of Acceptance: Letting Go of Harmful Perfection
Mufasa knew it and taught it to his son. Now it’s time you know it and introduce it to your people. I’m talking about self-acceptance. Without self-acceptance, you can’t truly respect yourself. How can you earn respect from yourself if you do not accept yourself?
Let that sit for a moment.
If you try to be somebody else to please others, you hold yourself up to ridiculous standards. Your view of the world through the distorted view of social media may fill your mind with ideas that aren’t real and create anxiety and self-rejection.
Self-acceptance is crucial to so many aspects of oneself, especially self-love and trusting yourself. One cannot love themself if one doesn’t accept oneself. How can you? Love means trust. It means acceptance.
You may doubt yourself because you're not where or who you want to be. Then accepting yourself becomes even more difficult because you don't have what you think you should have.
With that mindset, resentment creeps in, and without self-love, you cannot master yourself. You cannot spend enough time and attention to detail on yourself to set your life in a better direction.
Self-love leads to self-improvement because you discover your passions. You find out your genuine pride or trustworthy source of pride. And from these, you find out you love yourself enough to know that you are good at certain things, and you invest enough time, effort and attention to them to build them up and to build up their value.
This enables you to develop a healthier identity.
Because when you master certain things and are competent with certain things, you're not running around trying to be all things to all people. You're not trying to master everything. You just focus on what you know to be true.
This is where you develop real pride. And it's rooted in how confident you feel about your capabilities. Nobody can take that away from you. Nobody can ridicule you on these points.
But here's the dilemma, this mastery has to be built on the cornerstone of self-love.
Why do some of us want to be perfect? Is it because people believe if they are perfect, they will have an ideal life? I dreamt of perfection in every relationship I’ve had. Because in the beginning, it always seemed to feel that way. Until it didn’t. The idea of perfection in me soon became the principal value for my ex in the relationship. I had to be perfect in every way.
In many DV relationships, perfection is a big topic generally.
And the list goes on while making sure you remember everything that’s expected of you. Your mind is constantly on alert. ‘Make sure the tap is turned to cold after using the hot water, or you might get hit, or at least screamed at.’ etc. etc.
No one is perfect, and nor should they be. The only thing that you know for sure in this life is you have is yourself. Be clear on who you are. Be clear about your standards and the ideas or expectations inside your mind.
Regardless of how hard you try, how smart or good-looking you are, and how many advantages you start out with.
However, If perfection is part of your personal standards, that’s okay. However, you should limit it to that role alone. It’s supposed to lift you up and inspire you. It’s supposed to make you push yourself to become better than what you usually settle for.
Nobody is perfect.
It is not a destination.
You’ll never get there.
Instead, it’s supposed to be an impossible standard to push us to go for something better. It’s not supposed to be a tool to beat yourself up with or someone to use on you
I wish this was something that you can quickly identify and move away from. If you let being perfect become your identity, you may find life extremely hard. Perfection can be toxic. Let go of all of that. You’re losing nothing. Instead, you’re gaining self-acceptance.
As the old saying goes, “To hit the Moon, you have to aim for the Sun.” Again, perfection is just a standard, not a destination nor a commodity.
If you think you have flaws and you don’t like them, then switch them into assets. Turn your biggest flaw into your superpower. Ask yourself what do I feel is my biggest flaw? Get honest with yourself. If you love to tell tall stories, maybe that could be turned into writing a novel? For example; If it’s your looks, embrace them! Show them off. Be proud!
Next, you could ask yourself, can it be redirected when you look at the root of the flaw? Can it be combined with other things to produce something positive? Such as if you like to poke holes in peoples stories, you could be a great litigator looking for the other side of the argument.
Another question to ask yourself is, what the root cause of my lack of self-love is?
A lot of our emotional and psychological flaws really boils down to how we interpret the world. These interpretation issues come out of habit. Changing the mental habits that keep you locked in a mindset of self-doubt or self-loathing is the key to changing how you perceive the world and, in turn, how the world will perceive you.
Suppose you loved this episode and wanted to get more information about finding the joy of imperfection in you + the world around you. In that case, I have a special gift for you to grab. Head to my website missionbeautiful.org/episode3 and check out the links to download my Free Imperfect Pack.
In the Pack, you’ll find a:
All the links from the show are there with our show notes.
Check out ALL the info from todays’ show at www.missionbeautifulaustralia.org/episode2.
Next week, we'll continue to help you understand domestic violence; the topic is post-separation abuse. Helping you to understand how DV doesn’t always start or stop once you have left the relationship! Be sure to catch that episode; it’s going to be a doozie!
If you loved this episode, please subscribe on Spotify, Google Podcasts or iTunes and be so very kind to leave us a review. Each review goes into the monthly draw to win a $50 Amazon gift card!
MBAU needs your support, plus we love knowing what you want to listen to!
So there you have it… We hope these 3 Simple Ways To Embrace Your Imperfections were consumable, and you can take prompt action as you embark on creating your best life because you are enough! We promised you a Special free gift and we always like to deliver what we promise!
In this Pack, you’ll find a:
To grab your freebies from today's show just click the download button below!
Amy-Lee Farr is the founder of It Stops With Me. When she’s not serving her clients, she geeks out on photography, mindfulness, and challenging her friends to top her awesome karaoke skills. (What skills? lol) She calls Queensland, Australia home.
©2021 MISSION BEAUTIFUL AUSTRALIA FOUNDER AMY-LEE FARR. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Please Read Our Disclaimer